Perdón, en serio quiero decir demasiadas cosas. Tengo tantos pensamientos y tantos sentimientos, y simplemente no puedo sacarlos. No sé por qué, lo juro. Mi cabeza los quiere decir, quiere sacarlos, mi cabeza quiere darlos a conocer, pero por alguna razón mi mente no le indica a mi boca que hable. Alguna conexión se debe estar perdiendo, no sé qué pasa. Quiero decirle tantas cosas, y sólo… no me salen.
Tengo que decírselo todo YA, no puedo esperar a decirlo por skype o algo así. Necesito que lo sepa. Necesito que sepa cuánto la amo antes de irme. Necesito que no sienta que me voy realmente, que sienta que la voy a extrañar y a necesitar siempre, necesito que sepa que la amo, necesito que sepa lo que significa para mí.
I’m not feeling jealous anymore… I’m just feeling… very, very, very, very, deeply sad. And I don’t even know why.
I can’t believe I didn’t kiss her in front of the girl I used to like. I don’t like her anymore! I do not! I’m sure! I just wanna know why I did not kiss her :(
She changed her Twitter profile picture… She had one with me, and she changed it for one with her brother. It doesn’t matter to me the fact that she had done it. It affects me that she might be doing it so she don’t have to change it when I’m gone.
So I arrive home after school and after buying some food for my girl; I open the door and see her on bed and I’m really happy.. but something about her eyes, her mouth, her look, is wrong… something’s not right.
I put the food on the bed and keep on looking her so I could see what was it about, or maybe to realize that it was just my imagination and she’s just fine. But then she stares at me with that look… That sad, sad look… Those depressing eyes with that gorgeous reflection that only her eyes can produce. I realize there is something wrong.
We started eating and we were going to talk about it after finishing our hamburgers. Every bite I made, every time I looked at her. I don’t know why do I keep on staring at her. Maybe on my head, if I stare, I will know what’s wrong… but that’s never true.
So we finished eating… Or at least I did… I wanted to throw up so badly, but I just kept on breathing and trying to control myself so that would not be a bad moment for her and so that she does not think that I’m sick or something. She… put this… face… this sad face… And I was 100% sure that there was something really wrong.